1-31-11 Coconut!

I love Altan Brown. Clarification: I appreciate the knowledge he shares on his show "Good Eats". Until today, my favorite factoid included his caution that regardless of cooking time or temperature, wine contains trace amounts of alcohol. This impacted our family steak au jous recipe for the better, in regards to Anne. Alcohol, I feel, needs to remain absent from her diet until her brain develops more fully. Interestingly, pomegranate juice works surprisingly well instead of the wine. For that happy discovery I claim the credit.

Today I feel grateful for a new discovery, thanks to Mr. Brown. A little background first: Sometime in my early teenage years my parents brought home a whole, hairy, brown coconut from the grocery store. They devised some method of slicing off bits of the white flesh to eat using a knife. Knife and coconut in hand, while watching t.v., I managed to slice my coconut, along with a small portion of the tip of my left index finger. A tiny crescent scar remains.

So my interest piqued when Mr. Brown, in his customary methodical manner, demonstrated safe removal of the meat of a coconut:

1. Pierce the eyes of the nut with hammer and nail
2. Bake in the oven at some high temperature for a while
3. Remove
4. Allow to cool
5. Whack at it with a hammer
6. Peel the meat away from the shell.

OK, I employed the use of a butter knife on that last step. And it worked, beautifully. Now, sitting on a cookie sheet atop our stove, filling our kitchen with its sweet, warm aroma, tempts my lovely, peeled-and-sliced coconut. Anne and I love it!

Something about possessing the knowledge of how to do things for myself feels exciting. Like a child now able to tie my own shoes, I feel happy to go forth in the world, sharing coconut. This gift of knowledge shares easily with others. That seems like resource accumulation for myself and those around me. Ti's better to give...

1-29-11 4:00 pm Readers, and time to write!

Whomever you are, thank you! Four people follow this blog now, and three follow several others. What a celebration! So...that's the resource accumulated today.

OK, that and time. At this very moment, as I move along laundry cycles and my Lentil Barley stew sputters away in our crock pot, Harold cleans the kitchen floor, and Anne vacuums her bedroom rug. It's the coolest thing, composed of approximately 1,000, one-inch-in-diameter, 100% spun wool balls in bold earthen colors of goldenrod, pumpkin, plum, cranberry, robin's-egg blue, and black. Those little fuzzy mounds grab dust and dirt quite efficiently. Anyway, we're all contributing to the household chores, and the resulting time means I can do this - write!

16 years of perfecting balanced domestic chores, 11 years of parenting, and almost 40 years of getting to know myself back the entire system. 67 cumulative years to a peaceful, clean home...this week. I feel slightly guilty pecking away at the keyboard while everyone else puts elbow grease into our home. And yet...

As if I don't do enough, let's see: christmas cards to both sides of the family, all the laundry, the cooking, daily homework and instrument practices and lessons coordination, meal-planning, decorating for each season (my family - they're sad without the bunny wreathe, Christmas tree, Valentine's basket, birthday streamers, etc., whereas I could do without almost all of it), family gift-purchasing for both sides, family social calendar coordinating, vacation planning, cleaning the kitchen and laundry appliances, windows, and gardening.

Yes, it's a lot, but for the most part, those are the chores I most enjoy, and the rest of the family suffers without them. I know, I've tried letting those go somewhere along the path, with rather disastrous results. For instance, I can tell you that dissassembling the tree on December 26th brings with it a dark cloud over my husband fully until New Year's Eve. It's simply not worth it, and ultimately, unneccessary.

With all of us contributing to routine household chores, we have more time for other things: spelling bees, orchestra practice, lunch with friends, brewing, connecting with family, reading, relaxing, and planning for more fun. Sounds simple, certainly, and it is. We enjoy living together this way. A clean kitchen floor looks more appealing after our own efforts made it happen. We've had cleaning help in the past. I found myself scrutinizing her work. After I found out her nine-year-old daughter did most of the scrubbing, we ended our arrangement immediately. Anyway, these last ten years cleaning on our own have given us opportunities to work and grow as a tighter team, and that results in, as I was saying, more time.

Today, for instance, a good friend of mine and I enjoyed a two-hour lunch together. We caught up on the last six months, made snow-shoing plans for the next few weeks, and supported one another in the kind of conversation you can only have with someone else in a very similar life situation as your own. Our time together filled my social-networking cup, reenergizing me for the other parts of my life. And, (here's the icing), when I came home Anne had completed two of her three "necessaries" today, sans nagging. Beautiful.

So we played Scrabble. She out-scored me. She out-scored me by coming up from behind which required gumption, smarts, and strategy. I love it when she wins. So, of course, does she. And then she patted me. "It's OK mom, you were so close!" What a love!

A tight team. That's what our family operates as at this point in time. I feel more than fortunate. I'm gratified for the efforts we've expended to make it all happen. Today, it feels absolutely worth it. I love the time afforded for me to write. And when I need to spend extra hours at work, my family understands. Harold often comes home after seven in the evening, so he really gets it. And Anne, she simply blesses us with her patience and creativity. And we dote on her every chance we get. We talk, walk, problem-solve, tell jokes, play games, and watch movies. We interact, and she's now independent enough to take care of herself in small amounts of time.

Parenting, marriage, and family all consume ever-so-much-more effort, time, and thought than doe-eyed lovers think at the outset. Today, 16-plus years later it feels worth everything. Every tear, every hurtful word, every contraction, every cross-country move, every fissure we ever felt required healing makes us stronger. And now here we are, three relatively happy, healthy people living cooperatively together. That's a blessing.

1-27-11 5:29 pm Height

A growth-spurt changed our plans this evening. Spending quality time with Anne for a bit early tonight felt like a top priority. And now there she lies, reading, snacking, and just resting on the couch. I think she grew a full inch just today.

In her first year I could tell when Anne was growing. She'd eat and sleep for days at a time. That was it. I'd wait for her to want to play, interact, and those energies would be usurped by the growing. She could barely manage to talk after school today. I began feeling guilty: I'd stayed too long at school, she just needed to get home, etc. And then with our things packed, ready to head out the door, food detoured us. Actually, it turned out to be the perfect destination. That child, after scrambled eggs and two pieces of toast for breakfast, a sandwich, apple and cheese stick for lunch, a water bottle, and crackers for snack, felt famished. Who knew?

So, we stopped and she ate, thanks to a good friend at school. Then we got in the car, me seriously considering stopping at Good Times on the way home, as she continued to ask for food. Then in the back seat, one mile into the trip, guess who slept in restful splendor? My much-taller-now baby. Upon entering the house, after a pit-stop, she crashed on the couch. I just kept bringing her things: a blanket and pillow, crackers and a water bottle, two books. She kept rewarding me with puppy-dog eyes and "I love you, Mom!" - quiet, gratitude-filled, powerful declarations.

She's still obligated to instrument practices, homework, and a nominal chore, maybe setting the dinner-table. These token moments today simply pay homage to routines and build confidence. I want "growth-spurts" to seem manageable for her; she has more to go, I feel sure. Her getting used to this seems prudent.

Today we gained a taller daughter. We reaffirmed the kind of trust caring for someone earns. Maybe we made a deposit in our "love" account. I hope so. At any rate, I guess I also gained a little unexpected time. She continues to rest on the couch.

1-26-11 - 5:37 pm EnDurability

Did you happen to read the cartoon strip "Baby Blues" today? Our local paper publishes it daily - thank you Loveland Reporter Herald. It's a strip about the humorous ironies of raising a young family in a two-parent household. I'm a devoted fan.

Today Wanda, the mother, directs her eldest, Zoe, to put a $3.00 candy necklace back on the store shelf. (The necklace debate occured in yesterday's strip). Wanda advises Zoe today that: "It doesn't make any sense to buy things just because you want them." To which Zoe responds: "It makes a lot more sense than buying things because you DON'T want them!"

And how right she is. It got me thinking: How much in the way of stuff do we unnecessarily purchase? A palpable feeling of overwhelmed-shopper-syndrome (O.S.S.) creeps up on me in stores now and then. Maybe more often than that. It's most likely to strike when I'm running into the grocery store to pick something up "quickly". The number of bags at check-out shows when it's happened. I maybe went in for a box of tissue and some toilet paper. Six sacks later, at the check-out, I realize I've once again succumbed to O.S.S.

It's all that power-marketing. I need to perfect my "retail-honing" sensors. Somehow we just "need" all the additional stuff that somehow finds its way into my cart. (Yes, I've tried a smaller basket, or no basket at all. Amazing how easy it is to get to the carts when my hands get full.) Sometimes it's even hard to remember putting the items in my cart in the first place. It's another good argument for walking rather than driving (although even then I've gone over-board).

I once heard this frightening statistic: 90% of U.S. consumer products are discarded within six months of initial purchase. Makes me seriously consider dumpster-diving. I think there's a show on t.v. about that.

We regularly clean house and drop off excess at Goodwill. Granted our eleven-year-old's growth patterns sometimes have us re-stocking her wardrobe three times in a season. Unbelievable, but true. So that's a good portion of what we donate. Or, as is often the case, re-donate. At her growth-rate, we can only stay ahead by shopping at second-hand stores for her as much as possible.

So, back in the grocery store, or maybe a retailer like TJ Max, Marshall's, or even Target Boutique. When I'm feeling especially concious, and notice I'm feeling pressured to make more purchases than needed, I ask myself the question: How likely is this item to become trash within the next six months? It's helped, I think. The mortifying thing is when the Goodwill bag contains newish items that I bought. Better than the landfill, yes, and still. I can do better

It seems as though the less I spend in a state of O.S.S., the more financial resources accumulate and remain available for sexier expenditures: a vacation, a special gift, a guilt-free nice dinner-out, etc. And those are the stuff of memories, the most enduring of all. Until we make some of those exciting purchases, Zoe's comment echos in my memory: "...[You're] buying things you DON'T want!"

1-25-11 6:10 pm Re-Posting: Hot Coffee and Other Miracles

This morning a cup of perfectly made, hot, decaffeinated coffee appeared at my desk, entirely free of effort, money or time spent on my part. It was as if the universe knew exactly what I wanted, and delivered. Harold actually did the delivering. Ahhh. Thank you, Harold. Have I told you recently how much I appreciate you?

And then there's a wonderful friend who, in spite of my business, continues engaging me in fascinating, relevant conversation. We make social plans just for us. With so many of my friends having been "Mommy" connections, this feels refreshing.

When Harold and I were first married, we were our social life. Period. We continue to think that a few "couple" friends would be healthy. Back when Anne came along she and I made "Mommy-Baby" friends. These matriarchs were folks empowered by sharing birth stories. They were my support network, and the babies smiling at each other only encouraged our empowered conversations. My current friendships feel more...enduring.

Empirically speaking, my current blessings could hale form a variety of sources. I am gainfully employed in a fulfilling and challenging career. Anne is older now and we all have more time for building social networks. (Must remember to make couple friends). Harold and I continue to nurture our relationship. And it must also be true that smiling, making only positive statements, and watching the "b" word contributes to this current "goodness".

1-23-11 8:23 Preparedness

Today we've accumulated preparedness for the week. Anne's science fair project is ready to turn in, a full two days early, we have carrot, tomato, and roasted vegetable soups, along with sauteed kale, lasagne, and garlic bread ready for meals, my lunches are frozen and ready to bring to school, and the house is actually fairly clean. Tile grout is scrubbed, clean sheets are on our bead, and laundary is clean, dry, and put away. Preparedness for the coming days when we're busy with schedules that take us outside the home provides peace and hopefully a restful night tonight.

1-19-11 5:50 pm Joy and Smarts

What is a resource? I suppose anything from which you derive something qualifies. So, in addition to tangibles like food and clothing, sleep, relaxation, shelter, transportation, we can also include things like love and knowledge.

Hopefully that's the case. By some magic, my daughter and I spend more time together these days. The cuddles, hugs, and meaningful conversations fill my heart for sure. Additionally, we're spending more time together on her academic and extra curricular endeavors. We spent part of one of her piano practices (she works on Broadway show tunes, in part) singing along to the songs she was playing. She grinned the entire time, and listening to her beautiful voice, following the notes she pressed, gave my spirit a gigantic lift.

And we've been preparing her for the district spelling bee. Who know that "zigzaggedness" was a word. It just looks like "zigzag" with two suffixes tacked on the end. At any rate, all this time together builds shared memories between us, which in itself is at least as gratifying as any one of our shared moments in it self.

I'm counting my blessings as we count the years and months left that we can count on having our daughter at home with us.

1-18-11 6:58 pm Clothes!

Talk about resource accumulation! A friend and co-worker gave me a very large bag of clothes yesterday. Today I sorted through it and am four or five outfits richer for it. Thank you L!

And we have soups. Three: Pea, Georgia Peanut, and our stand-by, Lentil Barley Stew.

These acquisitions lower the cost of living for us significantly, regardless of their humbleness. Second-hand clothes. They bring to mind items one dons before painting a room, or changing the oil. Certainly that possibility exists. Some pre-owned clothes perform a wider spectrum of services.

All the clothes from today's find, for instance, easily classify as professional attire thanks to the good taste of their original purchaser. The thought of incorporating second-hand clothes into professional attire might resemble using recycled paper for memos. I mean the back sides, or erased areas of paper. Reused is maybe a better word. My perspective is one of augmentation. These new additions to my wardrobe maybe in themselves would be wanting, but when combined with other nice things, they make lovely outfits.

Pre-owned clothes lose monetary value like used cars. They cost at least ten times less, and usually have many many more miles on them. And they're vetted. Used clothes readily reveal how they'll wash. They're more than pre-shrunk, they're pre-everything'd. They're even pre-chosen. Ever been to a store, looked at something on the rack admiringly, and then wondered: Really? Could I be falling prey to some designer's off-day? Clothes in their second career once gleamed in a giddy purchaser's eyes. When I wear second-hand clothes, I know I'm at least the second person to have chosen this item of attire to wear. That comforts me.

Soup. A humble meal from time immemorial. And rich with flavor. Soups are one of my favorite forms in which to consume victuals. They're nutritious, delicious, and usually fairly light in the labor department. Their low price adds appeal, for me.

A steak dinner, replete with potatoes, gravy, a salad, the wine, and chocolate cake for dessert, easily runs over $5.00 a plate, even for homemade and especially when you purchase a good cut of meat. Soup-dinners have lower expectations: Bread, maybe a little wine, maybe a light dessert. Keeping the cost down for soup meals comes easily. Anne sometimes makes an Irish Soda bread for us, keeping the cost even lower, and enriches her dining experience.

Today I did more than save money. My family appreciated a humble, delicious and nutritious meal. I accepted the generosity of a friend, and expanded my wardrobe. During this, what some are calling the Great Recession, when we could easily feel we're bleeding financial resources, it's refreshing to count my gains.

1-14-11 7:09 pm Friends

Two of my friends from school currently receive careful medical attention. One is expecting twins and on bed rest until they make their way into this world (if the word on the street is correct - we share among ourselves hoping to avoid disturbing her). The other is in the last phase of chemotherapy to deal with cancer. I want to visit them. Let them know they're in my thoughts every day. It just hasn't happened yet - the whole 'carless transportation' thing, maybe.

A carpool ride home with another friend afforded me a beautiful opportunity to make shared arrangements. Together we will visit our friends. We will share gas, and build community as a team. What a wonderful approach. Thanks, Friend!

1-10-11 9:20 pm Lactic Acid

OK, the family is fed. I save fuel, and got some exercise. I'm accumulating quite a bit. One thing of which I'm fairly sure: Tomorrow morning my body will tell me exactly how much lactic acid four miles of walking, 70 minutes of Zoomba class, and 20 minutes of Yoga earns me. That's something to accumulate.

To be fair though, I networked and maintained friendships. The good teacher-friend who invited me laughed at herself almost as much as I was laughing at me. And we saw two other teachers too. There's something bonding about sweating your guts out, letting your mascara run, and shakin' it for all it's worth that's, well, bonding.

1-9-11 1:35 pm On Dinner, Wealth, and Love

I used to think life was a destination, and that as soon as I'd arrive, it would start. Over the last 2 decades it's become clear that life is the journey itself, at times slower and at others faster. The more I'm learning at any given moment, the greater my perceived velocity.

Right now I'm at about mach 5. Dinner, in the form of split pea soup, chili, lentil barley stew, spaghetti sauce, and chicken pot pie are all in various stages of cooking. We'll be set for the week. Having used less water, conserved cooking resources, and being at the ready to feed my family feels like resource conservation indeed!

Then there's the Snuggle Buddies. It's an item I've been making for years for my loved ones - we gave them out to friends at Christmas, and more distant relations as well. They're cheep to make and a great comfort to have, so it started with the desire to please our kith and kin at Christmas and save money at the same time. We now have folks requesting them, which makes the idea of marketing these little buddies seem all the more possible. At the very least I've accumulated some hope. Maybe we'll accumulate a few bucks as well. Maybe we'll accumulate a lot of bucks and I'll be able to be the benefactor of whom I've always dreamed.

With less driving life is slower. Anne and I cuddle more. We spend more time as a family together. I have more time for conversation. There's more love in my house resulting from the various endeavors of this year. Living more intentionally has provided more opportunity to know myself and my family members. Better knowing seems to lead to more time together, more love shared.

1-7-11 10:00 pm More Peace

Perhaps it's daily meditative walks. It could be the knowledge that I'm more juditiously using finite resources. Maybe I just love my life so much that this is a natural outcome, but I feel like I'm submitting daily deposits of peace into my very being.

A calm, peaceful approache to live have been elusive goals for me in the past. But this week I've noticed my heart racing less. I interrupt others' conversation infrequently, and the impending sense of urgency that can elevate stress to a status of distress is melting away.

Something, or some combination of things I'm doing is earning these positive deposits, changing my disposition for the better. It feels like my availability to connect with others at any given moment, has increased. If not using the car were the only thing I'd changed in my life, the outcome would be different. The potential of inner struggle, resulting from conflicts about how to make driving less a reality, could sabatage the effort.

The three efforts together: trying to use renewable transportation as much as possible, maintaing a positive outlook on all things, and watching for ways to build stores of resources in my life are a tall order when taken together as a whole. Taken together, however, they both balance and support one another.

What I know for sure: These endeavors create a wealth of capacity for giving in me. The better care I give myself, the more I have to offer others.

1-6-11 6:55 pm Time

I'm accumulating time. Cooking dinner, balancing work with the rest of my life, giving my family the attention they deserve, and taking time to care for myself. It could be the maintaining a positive attitude, driving less and making time for exercise, these efforts to augment our resources by doing things like cooking ahead, or something else entirely. The approach of 2012?

The gift of time is one without a price, it requires investment in planning. Time is priceless. Taking some for myself is bliss.

1-5-11, 8:51 pm Day 3 Balance Deposites

It's late, but I've done a complete toilette, with time to spare, my lunch is ready for tomorrow, and my outfit is waiting. I think all this "no driving", and staying positive is supporting more balance in my life.

Subtle routine changes force moderation. Without a car, we need to leave school right away, rather than staying as late as I think Anne can handle, so I can get more done. Leaving earlier in the morning is also helpful for walking, so it pays to have everything ready to go. More of the important things have room to grow.

Sticking to positive language, interpretations, and decisions helps me look for the best in all situations. Coordinating car maintenance with transportation to work and planning responsibilities in a marriage, balancing household chores with a desire to put my feet up, listening long enough to come up with something positive to say, they all cast a warmer light on things.

Anne and I have had deeper conversations, and she's hugging me more. Those both feel like accomplishments with our pre-teen. We had dinner at home tonight, homemande, with time and energy to spare for clean-up. These things feel like the ideals we all expect from life, despite a derth of enthusiasm for doing the work of making them reality.

Writing more is tempting, but I'm in the middle of The Year of Living Biblically, so instead I think I'll do a little reading before bed.

1-4-11 7:11 pm Dinner's in the Freezer

And that's where it's staying. I feel like snacking, and a sink of dirty dishes welcomed us home after school today. It was empty this morning, thanks to me. I'm avoiding the area. Harold is making an omlet. Maybe he's accumulating some independence and building a sense of responsibility. I'm collecting freedom.

The good news? Next time I feel like cooking, partly inspired maybe by others' taking responsibility for their own messes, it'll still be very easy to do. Yay!

1-3-11 2:15 pm Food, Clothing, and Shelter

In that order. Like most Americans my family is living, well, carefully. Like most people we own consumer debt, a mortgage, with thin savings. We get by, and are grateful for gainful employment, both of us, but careful planning behooves us, definately.

Sure we'd like a little more. Our livingroom could use a loveseat, and the back yard needs a bit of work. Even more, we'd like to put in a 2nd bathroom, and a 3rd bedroom. Our daughter Anne is reaching the age of infinate space needs, and we'd like to have house-guests more comfortably. Ultimately, though, my dream is to become a benifactor. A scholarship bestower. I've learned I can make my own dreams a reality, and it'd be nice to help others by supporting their education, or even fund research. But first we have to get financially healthy.

In this blog I will report the things we're doing to accumulate resources. Sure we're saving, and paying down debt, both of which will enable us to accumulate money, invest it, and ultimately watch it grow enough to give sums away to worthy causes. But what about consumable resources? Having helped run our household for nearly 20 years, I notice little and big things I do that acutally accumulate resources for us. The more we have in consumables, the less we spend. And that's money in the bank.

Last weekend was an opportunity to get ready for this week, our first week back at school and work after the winter holiday break. Cooking is something I enjoy, when there's energy. After a hard-day's work, we can barely drag ourselves to a restaurant, so cooking is clearly out the question. Good Times, here we come. Money, there it goes.

Clearly there's room for improving this scenario. Ingredients on hand last Saturday were: Sweet potatoes, barley, peanut butter, three frozen chicken breasts, lasagne noodles, eggs, and cottage cheese. Mostly. There was more, but these were the ingredients on which I based my cooking decisions. With a few small purchases (several cans of crushed tomatoes, and lentils, mainly) I created dinners for the entire week.

We have Thai Sweet Potato Soup (sweet potatoes, hot chili paste (thank you bottom back condiment rack in the fridge), chicken stock (thank you ancient bullion cubes), peanut butter, and city water. Boil, boil!)

We also have Chicken and Wildrice Stew (one checken breast, leftover rice (thank you fridge), chicken stock (again, thanks pantry), a handful of wild rice (pantry again), and coconut milk (we're all alergic to milk), and more boiling city water).

Additionally there's Lentil Barley Stew, a family favorite. Crushed tomatoes, shredded carrots (bottom of the crisper drawer), celery (I forgot we still had some of that), 1/2 a stick of butter, an onion, and rosemary.

A few years ago my sister gave us a 3-burner crock-pot megalith, so these pots stewed for several hours while I put together and baked a lasagne, and cleaned the house. When the stews were done, I used the stick blender to thicken them a bit (thank you Harold for this lovely 2010 Christmas gift). Four lovely main meals later, I was ready to freeze half of everything and store the rest in the fridge.

It's three days later, and we're still eating in. How's it working? What have we accumulated?

1. Easier cooking and cleaning conditions. Re-heating takes so many fewer dishes than actual cooking. So many fewer, in fact, that it's reasonable to ask our 11-year-old to do dinner dishes. So who's doing all the work? Well, I may be doing the planning and cooking ahead, but our kiddo is pulling her weight. There's real equity in that, and she's getting critical life skills along the way. I'll add "excellent parenting" to the accumulation list.

2. Time. Since I'm only re-heating, I have the wherewithall to ask my 11-year-old to put together a loaf of Irish Soda Bread, and actually help her when she gets stuck, rather than shoe her away and do it myself. That's a plus on so many levels. "Quality time with daughter in the kitchen at the end of the work day". Beautiful, and I imagine, rare in many households. It was almost non-existent for us before I began this routine.

3. Restaurant-like choice. I'm re-heating What'do'ya want - lasagne, chicken & wild rice, lentil barley, or thai sweet potato? Our menu is shorter, but 4 choices is plenty. When I think about it, at each of our favorite restaurants we always order the same things anway. How much choice do we need at home?

4. Money. More of it, and without spending hundreds on groceries. All for about two hours of work. And it's not left-overs. I mean, restaurants make ahead and freeze - you think that restaurant steak wasn't frozen 15 minutes before ordering? Think again!

5. Health. No saturated fat (ok, just a little with the butter), very low sodium, nothing fried. A healthy salad is an easy addition to any of the main courses on our menu this week. YouDocs would be proud. I am.

I can tell this is a new concept for my family. My husband is slightly suspicious. He's fine with the food, but he's wondering where the mess is? And why four choices each night, not one? And the same choices? He may have to endure that one while I continue with this experiment. So far, so good.