I read somewhere that in order to maximize our DNA potential to ward off diseases, we need 16 hugs per day. Something about joyful safe touch boosting the immune system, if I remember correctly. I love hugs. They feel warm, safe, and they let me breathe more deeply. Admittedly, hugs by the wrong person or at the wrong time are just weird. Other than that, I generally love them.
Harold, Anne, and I all hug one another, and that's wonderful. Some families live a hug-less lives. I am fortunate to live and work amongst a veritable community of huggers. I hug my boss, my co-workers, parents and students at the elementary school where I work, friends, etc.
Every time I'm in an embrace, that "16 hugs" factoid comes to mind. It's a little like if sugar were good for you. It tastes so good, if it were healthful that would just make the whole experience bliss. Hugs are like that for me. They feel good and they're good for me.
Today I got five hugs from students, three from my daughter and about three from other co-workers. Sometimes I find myself hugging me. Who knows why? Sometimes its' obvious - I'm worried or feeling isolated. Other times it just happens for no apparent reason. Maybe my immune system is in a weakened state. Five more are in order for today, and that's good with me!
Some people aren't huggers. Seems like not eating or sleeping to me - impossible. It's OK, though, we huggers find one another. It's like a shared secret. A smile, a reached-out hand, and suddenly a hug is shared between two people who need it. And we're richer for it. We're healthier, we feel loved, we get a shot of safety and belonging. Embraces equally give and receive simultaneously. What else in the world does that?
Controversial is hugging students at school. Touch the shoulder only, or don't touch at all. These kids come to school starved, literally not having eaten breakfast, and neglected. Some aer given what they need at home, and the rest, well, they have a game box, a television, a snack cupboard if they're lucky, and not much else. They get sick due to poor nutrition and lack of attention including hugs. I have one little student, "T" who says to me at least three times per week: "Mrs. Sponheim, I just need a hug!" She says it like she's starving or sleep-deprived. It's a basic thirst in her that needs quenching. When she throws her arms around me, I hug her back. And I let go first. When I can I give half-hugs. When children need hugs, they are seeking trust, a feeling of belonging, acceptance. Hugs become controversial when they cease to be hugs and become something inappropriate. I don't chase children down for hugs. I don't even hug my own daughter without permission. There is, however, something magical and healing about them, and they're free, controversial as they may be.
Today I feel richer, grateful, at peace because of the hugs I've given and received. Thank you to all those in my life who hug me. I'm privileged to be able to hug you all back!
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