Isolation, the ultimate illusion, sometimes feels like a bubble of safety, and at others feels like relegation and underappreciation. Working on a new idea, at the stage past brainstorming and well into visualization, often tricks me into a feeling of wanting to protect an idea from other permutations. It's major bubble-time. Solo execution of any task, small or large, on the other hand leaves me feeling deserted and sometimes unappreciated. Ultimately both illusions get shattered in a reality of co-existence.
I'm learning to break through the bubble. Just today, working on a staff development project, I checked in with two other experts: a 20-year veteran teacher, and our school counselor. Explaining my thinking felt good. Verbalizing my plan clarified my thinking. They felt included and affirmed as stake-holders just by my reaching out. They shared useful insights that deepened my understanding and increased the quality of my work. Ultimately the benefactors are participants. Additional positive ripple effects go beyond building community. Sharing thinking builds trust, a shared vision, and unifies a team.
Conversely, times of burdensome blame (perceived) provided an different kind of opportunity for broadening the circle of input that relieved a feeling of isolation threatening to overpower me. Some staff wanted my help with behavior issues. After conferring, I carried out a plan that we'd agreed upon. On the first day it quickly became clear that our shared vision left out important details. I almost cowered. I almost threw my hands up. Instead I came right back to the planning table, drawing back in my two co-workers, thereby keeping the lines of communication open. What we thought was a one-time plan became a week-long process. Gratification, in work thoroughly executed, feels like its own reward. The behavior issues may continue to one degree or another. Yet our time together supported intentionally cooperative work among school professionals from which students ultimately benefit.
How was the week? Productive. Inspiring. It felt full of learning. Indeed, I feel fortunate.
Traditions: Tomorrow Harold and I will be married 17 years. Some better than others, still I feel extremely fortunate to co-build this relationship. This morning met with a surprise cup of perfectly-made coffee, and this afternoon saw a beautiful bunch of flowers on the kitchen counter. And he said we'd celebrate this year on the cheep!
Traditions feed our collective memories, and that's its own resource. Anne saw the flowers and began complimenting her father's character. I concurred, and took advantage of the moment to advertise good qualities to look for in a husband: trustworthiness, kindness, self-care, and consideration. Kids learn from what they see more than from what they hear, I know. This time, she saw and heard, hopefully a powerful combination.
Most of what I have falls into the category of beliefs. I believe in building collaborative relationships, supporting loving relationships, and self-care. Everything else results as symptoms of those core beliefs. We make our destinies when we intentionally execute our lives.
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